Most parents reach out to me after noticing a change in their child’s behavior. The most common question is “Is this normal, hormonal teenage behavior or is this a red flag?”

Unfortunately, the line between these two is blurry. Young people are in a peculiar position in life during adolescence. They often seek answers to questions they don’t yet know how to ask. Adolescents sometimes get swept up in emotions, physical changes, and natural urges that they struggle to understand. Their concept of who they are in this world is coming into focus as they seek to understand where and how they fit into their family systems and friend groups. All the while, these same young people are trying to keep their grades up, perform well in school activities, manage expectations and responsibilities, and navigate delicate social dynamics. It’s confusing and difficult being a kid.

What are some red flags to look out for?

• A significant change in mood or appetite

• A significant change in friends not co-occurring with a new school year or new school activity

• A shift toward isolating

• Increased stress or anxiety

• Headaches

• A major loss due to death, a move, or divorce

• Getting in trouble at school

• Bullying

• Acting out via anger and destructive behavior

• A major drop in grades

• Losing enjoyment for things and activities they used to enjoy

• Major changes in sleep patterns

• Mention of suicidal thoughts or self harm

Helping Teens Thrive: Six Core Skills That Make a Difference

Adolescence can be tough. Big emotions, social pressure, school stress — it’s a lot. If your teen is struggling with anxiety, low confidence, or feeling stuck, therapy can help them build the tools to handle life’s challenges and stay connected to what matters.

One approach I use is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It’s a way to help teens understand their thoughts and feelings without getting overwhelmed by them — and to take small, meaningful steps toward the kind of life they want.

Here’s how it works, in plain terms:

1. Making Space for Emotions

Instead of trying to ignore or fight difficult feelings, your teen learns how to let them be there — without letting them take over.

🟢 “It’s okay to feel nervous before a test. This feeling doesn’t control me.”

2. Not Believing Every Thought

Teens often get stuck in harsh self-talk. ACT teaches them how to notice unhelpful thoughts without getting swept away by them.

🟢 “Just because I thought I failed doesn’t mean I actually did.”

3. Being More Present

It’s easy for teens to get caught up in worries about the past or future. We work on skills to help them stay more focused and grounded in the here and now.

🟢 “I’m going to focus on being part of this moment, not on what everyone might be thinking about me.”

4. Remembering They’re More Than What They Feel

Feeling anxious or sad doesn’t mean something is wrong with your teen. ACT helps them see they’re bigger than any one emotion or thought.

🟢 “I’m feeling down today — but that’s not all of who I am.”

5. Finding What Matters

Teens start to explore what kind of person they want to be — what matters most to them — even when life feels messy.

🟢 “I care about being a kind friend, so I’m going to reach out, even if I feel nervous.”

6. Taking Action (Even When It’s Hard)

Instead of waiting to feel brave or confident, teens learn how to take small steps toward their goals — even if they’re scared.

🟢 “Trying out for the team scares me, but it matters to me, so I’m going to do it anyway.”

Helping Your Teen Build Confidence and Resilience

These skills aren’t about “fixing” your teen — they’re about helping them handle tough moments and stay connected to the kind of person they want to be. Whether they’re dealing with anxiety, low motivation, or just feeling lost, therapy can give them space to feel understood and supported.

Let’s take the first step together.